I was ruminating and pondering that I never wanted to get married, never thought I'd get married, never wanted/thought I'd have kids and not sure most days that I want the ones I have or have anymore. Had I not had kids or a husband I probably would've had vacation homes, fancy cars and boats, season tickets to anything and everything, lovers on every continent, money to buy anything my heart desired and how my heart would desire these things and more. Um, hold on, I'm having a hard time seeing the downside in all that. Where was I going with that???
One day in that string theory future I would've woken up on empty having searched and not found what my heart truly desired and on that day, I would've doubled the contents of all the oceans with tears of remorse. My God loved me too much to see me as unhappy as that so he brought me close to Him so I could pour out a heart full of gratitude for all the gifts he's given me and for the ones he shielded me from. I love you too. Although, I really would like a boat.
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