How in the hell do you know me?

"I didn't think you knew me from Eve." 

How's that for a conversation starter? Well he laughed. Okay, he laughed pretty darn hard, and by the time our conversation had ended a half hour later we came back to "Well I guess now you know who I am and you know me from Eve!"

Our Father who art plumpy

Monkeyboy has this bad habit of talking back when told to do something. The boy has this deep desire to get the last word in so Papa has instructed him when he needs to respond back to say an Our Father instead.
Saturday night was like something out of Austin Powers where we kept interrupting his last words with "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....zip it" and finally off he would walk screaming an Our Father. I didn't care that he was screaming. God's eternal, maybe he's gone deaf and appreciates it.
This morning monkeyboy was clearing the table and refraining from talking back by saying... "our father who are plumpy" and I about lost it!

Cool science news of the day: Planet Diamond!

Diamonds are the gift of tradition for either the 30th or 60th anniversary depending on how modern and broke you are. Women don't tend to wait for diamonds so I'm just wondering how long it will take a bridezilla of the mold of Veruca Salt to demand the diamond planet for her wedding.

There is a difference between boys and girls. There just is!

Peach pit has a job, honestly and truly! She's good at it too. Now if I could only get the boy to go out and get a job, I could take his job: stay home, play wii, sleep in, eat junk food and pursue my hobbies. He's not in any sort of hurry to give up that job so there won't be any vacancies for that position anytime soon but I have noticed the disparity between the two of them is just fascinating.

She nurtures. He teases.
She decides based on "how is this going to affect others?". He decides based on "how is this going to impact me?".
She plays games to be close to her brother, to foster a relationship. For him the game is an activity between him and the game. He'll pound her face into the pavement if it means winning. That's the only relationship that exists in his world. Focus!
She's disappointed when she falls short. He's embarassed, maybe, when he falls short.
She'll go outside of her comfort zone to help. He'll stand there completely clueless how to help.

The difference between the two as they age... they'll be older. I imagine they'll both learn  how to relate to the opposite sex (sex is a powerful motivator for boys), but I imagine he still won't have a clue how to nurture a relationship with his sister.

Why is there a rosary in the refrigerator?

Married life us such an adventure! So says my husband and I'm inclined to agree with him. I bought my best friend a rosary from France for her priesthood bound cousin. I also bought her chocolate sticks and kept them together in the fridge so they wouldn't melt & I could remember to send them to her every time I needed a glass of milk. 5 months later my husband is sending them for me. Thoughtful I am, prompt I am not.

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Only in America: deep fried cheeseburger

Want something to go with that deep fried beer? Why not try the deep fried cheeseburger?

I hope my husband doesn't find out because the next thing I know he'll be lobbying for the deep fried chicken fried bacon sandwich, ick!

Signs I might be in need of the sacrament of reconciliation

- when dealing with a challenging person, the thought of beating them severely with a tree branch is a source of comfort

- when in the middle of prayer, you find yourself making lists, planning your day and all of the sudden you realize and ask yourself 'what was I doing?'. 

- when you're about to, are or have done something just a tad shady you ask yourself, "Hmm, is that really a sin?". Run, do not walk to a confessor.

- when your energy is being sapped from you when in your vocation, it's time for that booster shot of grace from the sacrament. 

I can't do this whole mom gig on my own because I figured something out about myself, I suck at it! Seriously! I'm constantly interrupted, constantly having to take situations and turn them into teaching moments, take care of others before my own needs, avert crisis, listen to complaints and address them and find a clean pair of socks before I leave the house, and sometimes 'clean' is optional. I have to empty myself and be there for others, all this before breakfast. 

So that sacrament is my lifeline. It's my salvation because it is so intimately tied to the cross! It's what He did for me so that I can return His love by asking out of humility for forgiveness for all the things I've done that has hurt and broken our relationship so that He can pour more of Himself into me, more of His love, more of His patience, more of His meekness, more of His humility, more of His kindness, more of His grace. 

I wouldn't drive in a car without periodically changing the oil or filling up at the pump. How much more important is my soul than my dumb car?

Positive parenting tip

Recall my blatherings about my uncleanly hurricane household? Well if not, it's a mess! It seems 4 people make a way bigger mess than 1 person. Go figure. 

I discovered that yet again my bathroom had no towels and the towels that were there were drenched lying at the bottom of the tub or dirty, really!?!? The kitchen's a disaster now that it's actually getting used. So instead of losing my temper and getting frustrated, the brilliant mama and pseudo-physicist (hmm, hmm...me) came up with a grand idea. I made two lists of house-elf duties, one for Dobby and another for Winky. It seems Dobby and Winky were overjoyed at being able to cross off things from their lists so they got to scrubbing bathrooms and toilets, washing/drying/folding clothes and cleaning my kitchen. I've even offered to pay them. It's them or the housekeeper.

So the kids tell me, "Mom, you're going to be SO broke, 'cause we're going to clean everyday!" to which I responded "That's awesome baby. I'll be so happy!". Peach extremely confused muttered,"Really? You'll be happy to be broke?"

Oh, sweety. If my children are concerned about keeping their surroundings clean so I don't have to (which means I don't have to pick up after myself because they will), that is money well spent!  Honestly, in the end it's all about me! So as virtuous and altruistic as my whole story may appear, in reality I'm not... but I didn't lose my temper. 

Fasting Day 3: It makes me Catholic

Lord knows I needed the good Archbishops's words today to bolster my resolve to fast. I do things better in community: eat, play wii, exercise, pray, and fast. I take courage not because I'm not alone, but seeing someone else's faith and virtues at work, yes even while playing wii games, helps me learn how to be a better Catholic Christian, how to be a better person and it helps teach me, tangibly the steps I need to take to grow.

Fasting while centering on God is uncomfortable, takes planning, perseverance and in general, it's not fun, which is why so many people don't do it. However, the benefits gained in disciplining your senses and growing in virtue surpasses any inconvenience! It's like walking into God's virtue shop with a few pennies and walking out with overflowing shopping bags. Right now I seem to have a bunch of kits in hand that I need to put together. I somehow think this is going to require repeat trips to the shop for advice.
He's a very generous lover, but he's also very sneaky.

Fasting: Day 2

I want chinese, badly. I'm really a bit of a wimp considering this is day 2 of a 3 day fast. It was suppose to be a week, but my buddy's birthday is Friday and I promised him we wouldn't fast on or near his birthday when we first discussed fasting a few weeks ago... then I went and asked if we could fast on his birthday week.

Fasting is always a surprise to me when paired with prayer. It certainly does de-clutter so I can see things better. I was noticing this pattern in my daily life that I don't think I'd have seen otherwise. Instead of waiting patiently, I tend to act rather bruskly. Sometimes quick action is necessary, as in an emergency. However that is the exception, not the norm. I always thought waiting/not acting was a sign of laziness and perhaps it can be, but there is a difference between laziness and patient endurance for the right moment. So that's my chinese take away for today.

Fasting: Day 1

I really hate fasting. The hunger pangs, the wanting stuff mostly junk to satisfy my hunger, my wants, I hate it. I decided to start a fast because my discipline has grown weak over time. I cheated a little here, a little there and the next thing I knew was that I was having a treat with or in between meals so much so that I felt sluggish and irritable because of my eating habits.
A friend of mine and I decided to fast. He's a diabetic so our fasts entails eating fruits, veg and lean meats only. I have better results when I have a partner in crime and it must have been a moment of weakness for him too to say yes to a fast because now I'm thinking there was nothing wrong with my eating habits.

Those two packages of oreos I have in my desk look awfully yummy right now, especially given that my apple was a little on the rotten side. I had to pitch it. Although right now the remnants of my apple look really good too.

Oh, behave!

I spent part of last week having dinner with colleagues. These colleagues, MR physicists and very brilliant people, are actually quite the riot. Living in the UK, I developed a love for double and triple entendres. So at dinner, I whipped them out, so to speak.

When we got invited over to a colleagues' house for dinner later in the week, her husband wryly informs me, "you're going to have to watch what you say, since there will be children here".

- " shees, you sound like MY husband"

and for the record the children he was referring to... were mine. They don't have any! Yet. 

However, my kids tend to be a precusor to childless couples having children. Seriously, they are contraception's worst nightmare. So I fully expect a shift in their family dynamics.

Papal Toilet Paper!!!

I love it!
This from the Curt Jester.

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

You guys heard of this one? It's the one where the 5 little monkeys were jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped her head, mama called the Dr. and the Dr. said, "NO MORE MONKEYS jumping on the bed!
I used to read this delightful little book to the kids when they were toddlers. Little did I know how close to reality this rhymn would come.

The Peach pit and her best friend decided in their wisdom, to jump on the bed from the top bunk. No bumps on the head but we do have a broken bed. We didn't have to call the doctor 'cause Dr. Mama said, "No more Peach pits jumping on the bed!"

Homeschoolers and butt crossings!

The kids have decided they are mixing Art class with French class so they are calling it ... FArt.

In other butt related news: "Butt crossings"

I have this penchant for squeezing the kids peanut butts when we hug or they walk by. It irritates them so I love doing it. After they finally came back home I was surprised to learn they didn't mind so much my squeezes. Seems they missed it. Go figure! They'd just stand there patiently waiting for me to squeeze their backside like it was a case of Charmin. As they'd cross in front of me, I'd affectionately call out, "butt crossing" and squeeze the Charmin. Until.... the tables turned on me and Monkeyboy yells out, "butt crossing" and reaches out to squeeze me. This would be acceptable nay tolerable, if we were in the confines of domestic bliss, but when does he choose to do this? Just guess!

...when we are in the chapel with dozens of other people before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. So I had to whisper with firm undertones: "Sweetie, I am SO glad you and Jesus have this great friendship and you want to have fun with him. You and Jesus cannot be squeezing butts in the chapel! Stop it!"

I had to make up homeschool rule #853: There is no butt squeezing in the chapel, church or any other public place, especially not the mama's!


Jesus is such a troublemaker or just maybe it was me. Nah.

For my anniversary

he gave me a sleepless night. Really?!?!

Thanks a bunch! No really Jesus, you shouldn't have. 

Not that I'm saying we're friends, 'cause recent events really make me suspicious. But seriously, is it any wonder you don't have friends?

My storm

I got used to silence, and a quiet, clean, peaceful household. They've been back 1 day and my clean house is wrecked. Seriously, they are a tornado!

After the death of John the Baptist, Jesus is trying to get away to a quiet spot to mourn the death of his cousin and he's taking the disciples with him, but instead what do they do? They bring the crowd! Great job guys! So does Jesus get angry, upset, frustrated? We do know, he forgoes his retreat in lieu of ministering to others in his moment of need. Being a diocesan priest is a ministry of interruption. Ministry is what you do IN the interruptions, and sometimes we think they don't understand us. Sometimes I wonder if WE understand them. So Jesus continues in the midst of his need to minister to everyone else, taking what little we have to offer and turning it into an overabundance. Only after everyone is satisfied does he send the disciples off.

Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor? This time he sends the disciples off ahead of him. This time they won't be bringing a crowd with them when he's trying to go on retreat! Jesus himself dismisses the crowd before going off to pray. He sees the disciples in the boat battered by the waves in the early evening but he doesn't approach them until early in the morning. What gives? 

When I'm battling something in my life, I'd much rather be spared the torment of enduring it or of disciplining my senses, but if I'm to grow I have to go through the pain of it. When the kids were gone, I'm not going to lie, the first month was tough. I thought I'd go out of my mind. I made it through one day at a time, somehow. In some sense though these past few months were like a retreat. I had silence whenever I needed it. I'd read, pray, exercise and play wii. Listen, Jesus would have played wii if they had back then! 

Now that they are back, it's tough. I got used to certain things, and now I have to take what I've learned on my "retreat" and apply it in our lives as a family, all the while keeping my heart focused on Jesus in the midst of my distractions.

Although I do have to admit when my distractions tell me that they missed me and that I give the best hugs and cuddles ever, it kind of makes my day!