In which chunky pup teaches me how to pray

2559 "Prayer is the raising of one's mind and heart to God or the requesting of good things from God."² But when we pray, do we speak from the height of our pride and will, or "out of the depths" of a humble and contrite heart?³ He who humbles himself will be exalted;⁴ humility is the foundation of prayer, Only when we humbly acknowledge that "we do not know how to pray as we ought,"⁵ are we ready to receive freely the gift of prayer. "Man is a beggar before God."⁶ 

(Catechism of the Catholic Church)

First off. Amen. 

Did you know that 1/4 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church is devoted solely to prayer?

Man is a beggar before God. A beggar.

Chunky pup, our late golden retreiver was rescued. We took her in when she was probably less than a year old and surmised she was abused. She had quite a few fears such as the fear of being beaten. Anytime we'd raise our voice she'd expose her belly to us and wet the floor. It took us months before she was reconditioned to know that when we were upset with her, we weren't going to beat her. So she did eventually stop wetting the floor and exposing her belly to us when we were stern with her, but she never stopped cowering in acknowledgement that maybe eating the furniture was a really bad idea on her part.


That cowering and acknowledgement of our own scumminess and sinfulness before the almighty God is the power of humility that maybe doesn't move or sway God, but moves and changes us. When we do that, truly acknowledge our own shortcomings and failings honestly before God, something really remarkable happens. It has the power to change our very life because it will affect how we deal with those problem people and situations we face on a daily basis. This happens because we allow ourselves to be seen for who we really are in the light of a good, perfect and eternal loving God.

The new opinions of the new translation of the Roman Missal have gotten old

I got SO sick of reading everybody's stinking opinion of the implementation of the new translation of the Roman missal that I couldn't bear any more. Maybe my tipping point came when The New York Times weighed in noting that even the Monsignor lost his place during mass. Gasp! Horror! Shock! Oh the shame of it all!
Please spare me. I really can't take any more. Father Z has it perfectly:

(Even missal guides for the laity have the mass parts of bowing, kneeling, silence, etc written in red.) It's really that simple folks. 'Nuff said!
Perhaps instead I can address a few of the obstacles people face in returning to mass in general:

• I don't need to go to mass to get close to God.
• And I don't need to show any affection to my husband in order for him to know I love him, but is that really how I want to live out our marriage? Our behaviors matter! If I don't behave according to my beliefs, very soon I will belive in the way I behave. Go to mass. It'll reinforce your beliefs.
• I had a bad experience with the church.
• I had a bad experience with my son. At the moment he and I are not happy with each other but we both know we can't fix it by ignoring it or each other. Persevere!
• I don't like the Church's view on...
• I don't like sharing. I never have and probably never will, but it's so much easier when I just get out of my comfort zone, look at it from the other persons' perspective and just do it. Jesus loves everyone no matter what baggage you bring. He just asks we obey his commands and the teachings of the church. Note: He doesn't force us. We are always free to obey or disobey and He doesn't ask us to like any of it.
• I don't get anything out of mass.
• Sometimes I don't get anything out of sexual intimacy with my husband, nothing tangible anyway. I mean if we're not going to have a child, 'Why bother?' (note the dripping sarcasm) Any moment spent in intimacy with my husband is NEVER wasted. It's the same with prayer, and mass is the highest form of prayer.

New Church Year Resolutions

The new church year starts this Sunday, the first week of Advent.

Here are some top ten ways you can begin the new church year:
1. Hey, it's not a spectator sport, resolve to fully participate in mass. 
With the new translation of the Roman missal, we all get to read along. No longer will you feel self-conscious that you haven't a clue what the words to the creed are. None of us knows it by heart, but this gives you an opportunity to pray it from the heart, which is far more important.

2. Instead of overeating, try over-praying.
Let's face it we all sometimes eat too much, play games too much, watch tv too much but really has anyone ever gotten blocked arteries from praying too much? Give it a try, you just might find out it's been what you've been missing all along.

3. Pray for your enemies.
Anyone can hate his enemies but only the best can pray for his enemies.

4. Be a man.
Only a real man knows the true power of being able to get down on his knees in humble adoration of God. (It goes without saying that man in this context means God's beautiful creation of man or woman.)

5. Pick up the Catechism of the Catholic Church
You have questions. It has answers.

6. Say your sorry...
in the sacrament of reconciliation and say it often. We are all scared of admitting when we've failed. It says I did wrong but unless we do, we'll never really get healed. It takes courage to stand before the person of Jesus Christ  and humbly and honestly name your sins aloud. (You're in luck! The Catholic Church has men who by virtue of their ordination humbly stand 'in persona Christi', person of Christ, just for you. He also seeks the sacrament for himself before a brother priest. You can go to someone who doesn't know you. He doesn't get the benefit of anonymity.)

7. Read the Sunday gospel
before Sunday. If I have a meeting at work especially where I have to present something to the group, you better believe I will be preparing for it ahead of time. You're presenting your prayers before the God of the universe, read the meeting agenda ahead of time.

8. Don't cram for the final.
Why are there so many elderly at mass on Sunday, on retreats, at bible study, at daily mass? They have the time. True, but for many it takes a lifetime of crisis, deaths and burials to finally sway their hearts to recognize that the only sure thing in life is not death but a creator who desires the very best for you and me.

9. Make course corrections.
How happy would you be if you only sporadically spent time with your closest family members or best friend? We make time for so many things in life and then tell the God who created it all for us that we don't have time for Him. Take a few minutes each night to turn your heart to God and review your day. See where God has blessed you and thank Him. See where you failed and resolve to do better.

10. Take the 40 day challenge!
If you don't believe in the Church, church teachings or even in God, I triple dog dare you to take this challenge. Set aside your personal feelings, your views, and your opinions for just 40 days and be completely obedient to church teachings. That means you may have to learn what the church actually teaches. 40 days. What do you have to lose?

Let's play! God's shoes

Dear Heavenly Father,

I know what the problem is. It's me.

I know what the solution is. It's you. Amen.

God's shoes. I can't hear Him coming. I only recognize Him after He's past but for weeks now I have been drawn to the parable of the Prodigal son, for weeks, and if I really examine it much further I expect it's been longer than that. You recall this parable, the son demands his inheritance and leaves his father only to lose it all. He decides to return to beg his father to let him be a servant so he can have his basic needs met. He had the whole scenario played out in his head how it would go.

The son knew he lost his dignity as son but knew he was still his Father's son. This is why he returned, begging to be a servant. He hoped for mercy to fulfill his needs. He still didn't have a clue who his Father was. He only knew he was his son, commendable for sure. However the Father surprises him with forgiveness. Within this forgiveness, did the son truly accept the Father's generosity and gift? Could he? When he turned from the foreign land and left it, that was the easy part, but the long journey home (to heaven) is a long and arduous path. The parable ends at least for the prodigal when he's forgiven by the Father (I can liken this to the sacrament of reconciliation), but at the same time, the journey is only beginning because to accept, to truly accept the gift of son-ship is difficult. I ask myself how do I respond to thoughts of 'my daughter', 'my beloved'? I preach this stuff to others, but the only reason I think God has me preach it, is because I so desperately need to hear it myself. 

Honestly, it fills me with fear. It's a fear that gently beckons, 'be with me'.... and yet it's still fear. 

Male genius vs. Feminine genius

I'm suppose to give a talk this weekend on feminine genius so here are some thoughts:

Physiologically speaking women have depth. We have innie and outie bits and we're just a fine specimen to behold! Ah! However, these innie and outie bits also reveal something of the great mystery of woman. We give comfort, assurance and tenderness and it comes from within to be expressed outwardly. As women we can agonize internally and externally over our decisions, our role, our actions and we can lift others up by our distinct gifts of comfort, assurance and tenderness.
Men are surface-ential. I know it's not a word but I like it! Men have outie dangly bits and that's just gross to ponder. Really, it is! However, this physiological outwardness also tells about a great mystery of man. Men have much going on inside like women, but they hide it from the surface because what is on the surface is very important. It is their very manhood that is on the line. Their very manhood is at stake for anything they bring to the surface. So they are very selective about which traits they will outwardly show, like outwardly displaying emotions that would detract from masculinity! This is usually the case for most men, which sadly for some men never comes.

However this is one of woman's most beautiful roles. She through her nurturing, comfort and tenderness aids man to break through their surface tension so to speak. She helps him reveal what is hidden, not when she badgers, whines, criticizes or demands to have the same power as man but precisely in her feminine genius, in her tenderness and especially in her affirmation of his masculinity. Women have this beautiful and amazing role to lift up not only their children, their husbands but also all of humanity.

I've seen feminism described solely by sexuality and being in control and while sexuality is one aspect of woman, to focus on that one aspect is really to lose sight of the true gift of woman. So let's touch on it briefly. For the record, males are quite willing to let women be in control (well most males lacking self-control) if that means they get serviced in some fashion. So really, is that control? Is that really the best you can do? See how when we play a game by their rules, we lose - we lose ourselves and we miss the whole picture. If woman is really going to be in control that means a woman will protect the gift that is woman, internal and external so that she  gives herself to the one gift meant solely for her, her husband.

So many times I see feminism described as having or wanting the same power as man, doing and being the same as man, but I am not man. If I try to become one I will be distinctly unhappy because I trash the treasure that is feminine genius. (That and I really don't want dangly bits) I will only be fulfilled when I am living out my true femininity, all of it, internal and external.

Happy hair day

Yesterday the Peach pit and I went for a haircut, well a trim. We are both letting our hair grow out for Locks for Love which provides hairpieces to kids with cancer. Peachy was extremely excited to be going to a salon to get her hair trimmed. She's nine. I think when I was nine, I dreaded going anywhere near someone threatening to take scissors to my hair unless I was the one with the scissors. I'm weird that way but Peachy embodies so many distinctly beautiful feminine traits. Pride in her personal appearance is one of those things.

As the stylist finishes trimming the girls silky straight locks she asks her what she thinks. Peachy responds, "I like it, and I was wondering do you have any advice how to keep tangles out of my hair?"

Seriously at her age, my hair was a rat's nest. Really it was. Think thick, dry,  curly, did I mention thick hair. Oh it was a mess. Not once did I ever consider how to keep tangles out but I did consider how to take apart electronics and thermal coolers to see how they functioned... and did.

Pancake Day!!!

Actually I used to hate pancakes mostly because my dad made them like EVERY Saturday and Sunday and sometime in the middle of the week. I got so sick of eating pancakes on Saturday and then being conscripted to help out with the family lawn or vegetable selling business that I just couldn't take one more pancake but after a good long pause from pancakes, my attitude has mellowed.

Monkeyboy was away at a gymnastics clinic this weekend, so we missed him and Papa on Sunday. This morning as I was lying next to the monkey trying to cajole him out of bed I asked what he wanted for breakfast....'pancakes, because we missed pancakes on Sunday'. (Pancakes are a bit of work on a Monday morning and ordinarily Papa doesn't make us pancakes on weekdays.)

However, I thought awww, how sweet. Sundays are usually a special day at our house. We have pancakes or waffles, eggs, bacon maybe or omlettes after mass and by 'we have' I mean 'Papa makes'. So off I went requesting pancakes from Papa because everyone knows Papa will make anything Mama wants. I didn't really want pancakes this morning but my kids did and that was enough for me. We had Sunday breakfast on Monday morning. It was fabulous.Thank you Papa!

And that my friends is our Marian lesson for today. We pray for Mary to help us because she is the Mother of Jesus. She has a special place in His heart and in His kingdom. When we give her our prayers, she polishes them up and presents them to Jesus in a way that is irresistible for Him to deny. He loves her so much. He indulges her and she know what to ask for, how to ask for it and will never fail in acquiring for us exactly what we need.

Believe in yourself

I really do dig despair.com

Cold chicken

This whole mom thing is a funny business. I never thought that I'd be so happy to be eating cold chicken. My brother used to love eating cold leftover chicken from the fridge. Cold pizza, yes. Chicken? Not so much.

I have been super cranky lately. I've been volunteering quite a bit and maybe a bit more than usual. I've been anxious about my job and changes coming, keeping my projects moving forward so much so that even when I've been there as mom, I haven't been present to the kids because I'm doing something else for someone else. They weren't bad things. They were all good things but not 'mom' things. I let something else take the place of my primary vocation and it made me cranky.

When I realized that all these things I was doing for others was draining the life energy from me and making me a worse mom I said, "I'm done. I can't do this." So I went back to being mom. I played with the kids, talked about what was going on in their world, watched their favorite TV shows with them, and I served them dinner. I was running around getting their hot chocolate made during dinner that my dinner sat. By the time I did get to it, I ended up eating whatever was left and it was blessedly cold. I sat down with a smile on my face and life welling up within me. Why? Because I was doing what God intended.

I hope you have a cold chicken moment today, and I hope I continue to have and treasure them!

May God bless all our cold chicken moments in life. 

Good Morning Beautiful!

Every morning I say that to the Peach pit and every morning she responds, 'Good morning more beautiful'. The first few times I was incredulous, ' Seriously sweetie, have you seen me?'.
She was less than impressed and also a bit furious with my retort. Her response was 'God made you beautiful. He made you perfect. The way you are is the way He wants you to be! And YES you ARE more beautiful.'

Nine year old little twerp beat me to the gospel.

Amen, daughter of mine.

Whoopers!

One of the things I love about having kids is the blessed virginal understanding of all things. You look at the world through their eyes and it just makes you go wow!

My best friend text'd me yesterday saying her 3 year old was so upset with Dad because of the candy exodus from their house: "Daddy, don't give away the candy. That's NOT okay!"

Then there was Peachy who was all excited to tell Dad that she got "whoopers" for him. His favorite!

I was going to correct her to tell her they are Whoppers but I think I like whoopers so much better!