Why I love Religion and Love Jesus

There was this silly 'Why I love Jesus and hate religion' post on You tube. It was well made but absolutely absurd. Here's a response that is also well made and concise. Oh and by the way doesn't spout hate like the hate religion post.

Monkey Orders

When monkeyboy was baptized, I was less than enthused about the Catholic church and even more so disappointed by the clergy. We were struggling but decided to get him baptized anyway. Even though our pastors were committed holy men setting good examples, we didn't want much to do with the male dominated church and their antiquated practices. This was the attitude I held as we got Monkeyness baptized. That particular Sunday we had a visiting priest from Kenya assisting. We were quietly waiting for the baptism and as he gazed at monkeyboy, I recall him stabbing me in the heart as he asked "Perhaps he will one day be a  priest?"

I can't imagine what daggers I must have shot him. My thought process was "Oh, hell NO. Not MY son. My son will be a fast food worker, mechanic, doctor,  railroad engineer, bricklayer, tattoo parlor worker, etc, anything BUT a priest." We stood in silence and even though he didn't say anything else, I do know he prayed. Drat him and God bless him mightily.

These days I do bring up the idea of vocations and the priesthood with monkeyboy, not that I'm pushing him to be a priest, but I want him to do what God wants for him so I bring up all the possibilities. That's been my thought process, until today. 

He had a recital yesterday. As he was playing his viola, I asked Papa 'maybe we should get him back into piano lessons?'. Although, he has very beautiful and delicate hands, my concern is that he's not likely to have a romantic anything in his life. I feel it's my responsibility to give him options of hobbies and things to do to occupy his time and for stress relief. It's not that I can't see him with a girlfriend. It's that I see it not lasting. He's clueless. The chick will get frustrated with his clueless-ness. She won't be able to change or sway him and subtlety or nagging won't work because he can't change who he is. It'll be too much work; he'll get overwhelmed and check out or she will. I know my boy. I have friends that affirm their vocation every day. Is it possible monkeyboy affirms his vocation already at this early age?

He tipped the balance this morning and sealed his fate. I ask him to bring down his clothes for washing, which includes clean clothes, lego pieces (apparently darth vader's helmet needs washing), kite parts, shoes, clothes still on hangers, chocolate wrappers and anything else he happens to toss in the basket. This isn't the problem. He goes on to sort of sort the clothes, load the washer, empty the drier and bring up the dry clothes for folding.  He starts the drier 20 times claiming clothes are still wet. Yes he's lazy and doesn't want to do the work but it's still not the problem. This morning I traipse through the piles of sorted clothes to unload the drier and bring up clothes and swap clothes from washer to dryer when I discover the lone towel in the washer.

One towel. He washed one towel in the washer. There are piles of clothes and he washed one towel. That did it. He has evoked the wrath of Mama! Immediately I thought, "That's it. I am off the fence. I am praying fervently for a vocation to the priesthood for that boy." No amount of my threatening, rewarding, cajoling, promising beatings will change his laziness. No wife will put up with him and no child will get him to be self-less. He needs the church. He needs people to visit in hospitals, on deathbeds, in prison and administer the sacraments. He needs to be awoken at 2 in the morning to provide shelter for the homeless, or console a widow. He needs to be a spiritual father to a multitude of people. He needs to administer the sacraments because there isn't anyone who needs them more than he does. He needs Jesus Christ. This is a job for Jesus, plus that way he'll have someone to do his laundry for him.

In my vocation as mother I plan on giving St. Monica a run for her prayers. My pleas for his vocation are as desperate as hers were for her sons' conversion. Monkeyboy won't think of anyone else's needs until his love for Jesus compels him to do so. I plan on giving Jesus some fairly compelling arguments and making myself a total nuisance on the subject of Monkey Orders.

Celibacy has its perks

I don't know how sluts do it. Is that politically correct? I don't care. I was watching the Big Bang Theory when Penny was asked if she was a slut for having slept with thirty some partners and it made me pause. I don't get it. I mean I've been married to the same man for 16 years and its only been with him that we renew our marriage covenant. THE SAME GUY. Okay I feel a need to point that out because again, I don't know how a slut does it. I mean we've been doing the whole horizontal mambo, the beast with two backs, you know for sixteen years with no one else but each other so why is it we still don't have this figured out?
This is the, I don't know, umpteenth time I've had a urinary tract infection, and I know what its from and I can trace back to exactly how I got it.

So as I sit in my Dr's office it occurs to me celibacy has some really phenomenal perks! Unfortunately, I was not called to celibacy even though many times I wish I had been. Its not because of this infection. I just think celibacy has some really phenomenal perks and to be totally honest, I'm just a wee bit jealous of my celibate friends.

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You only need one!

Herm Edwards was asked this morning about his pep talk to the NFL Rookies, so I paraphrase: 'You only need one. Once car. One wife or girlfriend. Guys if your married and you travel from San Francisco to Boston, you've still got a wife so don't get a girlfriend.'

Aside from the humor that football players need to be reminded that when they travel, the reality continuum still exists and so do their obligations and commitments, sometimes we all need a coach to help us out at times and remind us that things haven't changed regardless where you happen to find yourself.

I need to be reminded that my moral compass always needs to be pointing in the right direction. Where do I look to find where that moral compass needs to point? I look to the standard bearer, Jesus, to God the giver of all good things who asks  us to be holy as He is, to His church and the teachings of the church. If it was up to me, my moral compass would veer off into selfish directions and sometimes I go in those directions. However, I always know in which direction I need to go. Jesus and his gift of the church never cease to stop calling me towards holiness, towards greatness, towards humility, towards self-less self-sacrifice. I only need one, one God, but God is so generous that even when we only need one He gives us 3: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. He will NOT be outdone in generosity!

The 19th Annotation

Spiritual growth is tough. When you start any retreat you have to be ready for the unexpected and uncovering unsightly items that you had forgotten existed, much less want to face. So goes my retreat. I've started a retreat with my spiritual director based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, in particular the 19th annotation.

It's broken up in the same 4 week format (if your familiar with the exercises, where St. Ignatius' week has absolutely no relationship to timespan) but over 32 or 34 week timespan. I've been meditating daily on different passages. The most troubling aspect though is that spiritual growth is tough. It can be painful. Unearthing bits of you, you had long forgotten about and uncluttering your spiritual closet, well it's eye opening and slow going. I'll post more about this as my journey continues so stay tuned.

Snowfall Serenity

Living in MN I grew to appreciate fall, a fact of nature one neglects to notice in the south because it doesn't exist. I used to think spring was my favorite season, until I really saw my first fall. Interesting though that in order to get that amazing spring and fall, you have to endure winter. Winter in MN is not so pleasant. It can be brutally cold, nippy and chilly doesn't even begin to describe the harsh reality of negative double digit temperatures and let's not even go into chill factors! Needless to say one has to learn to thaw out from car to office/home. However, I did learn to appreciate one of many beautiful facts of winter, the silent, peaceful snowfall.

It's the one where the snow takes center stage. Instead of overacting and pummelling you in angry outbursts, it instead has a gentleness about it. The wind has receded to let the snow have its limelight. The snowfall is soft and gentle, caressing you in loving warmth with its delicacy. You want to just stay there in that moment and let yourself be enveloped in its embrace. Then you realize you're standing in frozen ice sheets and you need to rush inside to thaw out your tootsies before you become seduced by the brutal mistress that is winter.

Mama is a Psychedelic genius!

We usually have to spatula the kids out of bed in the morning most likely because they stay up watching repeats of Psych episodes so this morning as I watched my favorite sports commentators I had an idea. Papa realized he needed to get kids up and out of bed and I mentioned I thought I knew how I could get them up.

So I started an episode of Psych (I love recording shows and then skipping commercials, awesome!) and turned up the volume. No sooner had the intro ended then Monkeyboy comes BOUNDING down the stair and hops bleary eyed onto the couch.

That is light years ahead of what his normal morning routine usually is. The Peach likes to lounge so she did saunter down but in her own good time.

Sins of omission by the ordering clinician

I'm a doctor, not an MD Dr. but a PhD Dr. who trains and works with clinicians and radiologists. So I was highly amused with this article I read on Diagnostic Imaging.
In my experience I tend to get a whole lot more respect from Dr.'s then I do the general public. In general the public can downplays a PhD as tantamount to nothing more than just a whole mess of studying and bookwork. "That's nice dear, but you don't really know anything." or "Wow, you're really smart" or "Oh, you're not a real doctor". -Thank you. Thank you very much!

Those statements reflect the thought that I can't relate to anyone or anything else whose not scholarly. The message conveyed is 'You know too much and it's all useless stuff' (ok sometimes that's absolutely true).

Colleagues who have PhD's tend to relate to each others much like the Dr's in the article, which is just hilarious! However, physicians speak to me as an admired and respected colleague which honestly is just humbling and blows me away each and every time it happens. Maybe it's because I'm one of the ones that provides them the tools and techniques that allows them to accomplish their job.

Just like those who have been gifted with wealth, some people are gifted with knowledge and learning. The knowledge and gifts I was given are not my own. They are for you. I am to give of my gifts back to humanity. When I give of myself completely, using my knowledge, skills and talents, is when I find I'm the most fulfilled and content, regardless how I'm treated, respected or addressed.

The Civil Rights Movement is not Dead

Dr. King made the following remark:

“We must all keep fighting for the civil right of babies in the womb. If a person is not allowed to live, no other civil right can be realized.” - Dr. Alveda King

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/matthew-archbold/the-same-stones-as-dachau#ixzz1jiqLb6rR

This is the infamous Rockford, IL abortion mill which is now closed. Praise God for the power of peaceful prayer and for all the courageous men and women who daily stand up for those without a voice.

See what I mean? 14 year old is suing her family so that she will not be forced to have an abortion
She has a hearing on the 19th that may or may not grant her an injunction. This after being harassed and beaten by her family to force her into an abortion. Huffington has even weighed in on it.

Chasing some asses

When a man goes chasing after asses (1 Samuel 9: 1-4 and 17-19) that might be your first clue that he's going to turn out to be an ass. Said and done.

I was completely tickled by Saturday morning's readings of Saul hunting for his dad's prized asses. It's in the Bible folks, look it up. Freaking hilarious!

Anyway THIS is the guy chosen to lead God's people. Remember I said be careful what you ask for because you just might get it?? The people beg God for a king because why??? They have God, but somehow God isn't good enough for them. They want to be like everybody else who have kings to rule over them. So God grants them their hearts desire and how do we recognize the new leader? He's chasing asses. Nice. Great kingly material there! If you follow the precious story of Saul, you see how he's in it for himself. How after he conquers, he disobey's God and keeps some of the bounty for himself and his men. Well from there "it all goes pants" for precious Saul.

How many lessons are in this story? How many times do I see what others have and want it for myself or want to have that lifestyle instead of my own? How often do I promise to do something and then cheat a little? How often am I truly thankful for what I have for what I've been through, for the pain and the sorrow, for the struggles I've faced because that's what's shaped me. Those are the things that have helped me let go of my selfishness. I don't know that I could do it without those trials because honestly, I'm a bit of a selfish ass in need of God to continue to chase me down.

Facial Friday

The Peach pit is super excited for our date night. I can't remember if it's suppose to be tonight or tomorrow but what I do remember is that the monkeyboy and I went to buy facial stuff after OUR last date night (I took him to the pub for our date night!). So we browsed the facial repertoire of the beauty shop and found, mud.

Yep, mud. Moroccan mud, Algerian mud, Dead Sea mud for exfoliating that dead skin because don't we all need international mud! Monkeyboy noticed, "$30 for MUD!!! I can give her mud from the backyard. Who needs mud to clean skin? You get mad at me every-time I come in the house with muddy shoes."

Yes, it does seem a bit counter-intuitive so I explained, 'Well some girls think this stuff makes them look more beautiful." Ok, see I'm not a frimpy kind of girl so I am at a bit of a loss to try and defend this logic in the first place! To which he responds, "What girls put mud on themselves to make them look more beautiful? And what idiot spends $30 on mud in the first place? And they call us dumb?"

I couldn't agree more buddy so out we walked with chocolate facial stuff because I figured it could double as dessert, which is at least practical.

Oh and lest I forget, the monkeyboy explained this silly mud selling business to the Peach and that we found mud for $30!!! Her response to him was, "Uh (eyebrow's raised and hands on her hips) of course!!!" Then she shook her head and extended her hands like she was talking to a toddler, " It's SPECIAL mud!"

"I CAN"T FIND MY..."

Usually I hollar (now that's a word I haven't used in a while!) that statement out at least 5 times a week, usually more, sometimes less but it's a recurring statement from me and you can just fill in the blank...

-shoes

-socks

-keys

-purse

-coffee cup

-neck pillow (how do I lose a neck pillow?????)

-brush

-laptop (don't ask!)

-wallet

-phone

-ear muffs

-gloves

-scarf

If I own it, I'm pretty sure I've lost it!

However, this week I lost my January Magnificat. It's my little prayer book that has the daily readings for the month and the ever important 3d edition Roman missal changes (the celebrant and people's parts) so I can remember the words to the prayers and follow along. Having just the people's responses for mass in front of me has not been very helpful to me. I enter into mass so disjointed and it's a distraction for me, and I feel like hollaring "I CAN"T FIND MY PRAYERFULNESS " (and yes I am using that in scrabble - fair warning) 

Although I pray along with the priest, I've found I can really enter into the prayer if I indeed follow and throw myself into the prayer (and sometimes I don't necessarily follow along but having them in front of me as a cue to when I'm suppose to chime in = OH SO helpful!!). It helps my prayerful attitude and it allows me to join in the prayer in a deeper way.

Oh and thank you Saint Anthony for retreiving my Magnificat (which my car seat swallowed). It must have been snatched out of my pocket by the un-prayerfullness demons. Thank you for the holy-whappage you gave them and in all honesty I will be super full of prayerfullness the next time I celebrate the holy sacrifice of the mass!

Jesus' eclectic taste in candles

We have a small altar at home. It's not something I set out to have (Ok I wanted one but I thought it would be  planned and elegant), but the one we have just sort of happened. Initially I put the kids baptismal candles on it as decoration. Then one of the rosaries that I used to pray with when my brother was dying found it's home there. The day a relic (on loan) came to us was when it turned into an altar. This very precious Madonna and child that came to us was the last addition.
Prayers are said here every morning. I reverence the relic every time I pass it and a funny thing has happened. The kids stop here to pray too, especially when it's a rough day. When Peach came home with a very special candle creation, she wanted to find it a home.

Apparently Jesus is now into very eclectic candles because she was very excited to place it on the altar!

Morning coffee with God

I got home a few days ago from mass as husband was finishing his morning meditation. I think he appreciates that I leave in the mornings to celebrate mass because it affords him a silent moment to enjoy coffee with God. To be quite honest I'm a little jealous of his coffee time with God but this particular morning he was a bit unsettled. So I asked...Turns out his meditation ended with the question ' Do you trust that God knows what he's doing in your life?'

To which I blurted out, 'Hell no!' and husband responded 'Exactly! Now I'm stuck for the rest of the day left to chew on that!'

Hmmm. I can say 'I trust' but there's an incompletion if word doesn't make it to action. The action makes it truly present such as 'The Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us', or the son who did the father's will even though he said he wouldn't vs the son who didn't do the father's will even though he said he would.

If I trusted God...

   I would worry only about disappointing Him.

   Nothing but discerning and doing His will would concern me.

   Out of love and devotion I would fear offending Him.

   I would be completely dependent on Him.

   My attention would always be on knowing, loving and serving Him.

   Doing His will in all things would be the only thing that mattered to me.

So indeed, that's a lot to chew on.

Peyton Manning, legacy calling...from Cleveland

When a football player looks to his legacy and what he's accomplished over his career certainly he wants to go out having been on winning teams, securing Superbowl visits/wins and be remembered for his contribution to the sport. He wants to inspire future stars by being himself: hard working, focused, commited to be the best version of himself. Is there any greater statement a football player can make than to take a football organization that's been devoid of leadership, experience and winning attitude and turn that organization around. That's the stuff of legends.

Although, to put up with Cleveland Brown fans but more importantly Cleveland Brown sports commentators one has to develop a bit of a thick skin because they tend to be a whiny lot.

Finchicus manliness found on the sidelines!

Virginia tech's backup kicker was sent home on a greyhound bus for violating team curfew rules. Dude! You're in a Bowl game and you go and do something so completely idiotic!?!?!? Violate curfew and there are consequences.
Kudos to Coach Frank Beamer who sent home the backup kicker on a Greyhound bus.

A Christian fraud

It seems I have many similarities with my atheist brothers and sisters.

Atheists take by faith the nonexistence of God much as I as a Christian take by faith the existence of God.
An atheist throughout life is beset by silent yearnings to believe in God much as I am tempted to disbelieve in God, to doubt His existence.

When that dis-belief occurs, it is real, tangible and frighteningly obvious. It is precisely then that I cling to faith with every ounce of energy I have even while I know, believe and tell myself, 'You my dear, are a genuine fraud.'
I can't imagine what years of that type of temptation is like. Blessed Mother Teresa did and by all accounts it was dreadfully awful. I can barely manage the terror of the temptations (as a matter of fact I can't) but that is exactly what it is: sheer utter incomprehensible terror.
Does that make me a Christian fraud? Perhaps or perhaps it makes me a genuine Christian.

MonkeyBOY

The monkeyboy affirms his manliness on a daily basis. He cannot multitask unless it involves junk food, video games or sports. Honestly, he's completely hopeless. If I ask him to wash dishes, I should also stipulate that he needs to use soap and a scrub brush. If he's to rinse the dishes I must remind him he's to use water to do so, oh and do not interrupt him otherwise the lousy dish washing job he's doing gets delayed like a bill for tax cuts in Congress. However any sports game he watches, he not only visualizes the play, but he can simultaneously comment on it and also on the ticker updates passing across the screen quicker than a congressional pay raise. The grime on dishes however eludes him.