The automated confessional

My morning med

It used to be that husband would give me strange looks (well he still does) but this was because I would get up at 5 am find a quiet spot and pray, meditate and start my day. It was a beautiful habit but not quite a virtue because I dropped that habit in lieu of sleeping. The only prayer I've been able to maintain at that early hour of the morning is the one that is set aside for the intention of others. That one I habitually manage to maintain. Woohoo 1 virtue!!!

When I ponder it, I find my day is always better when I make the effort to get in my prayer time (and mass), but I often struggle with the discipline it takes to maintain a prayer life. So how to do it? I guess there is no easy way, which is why it takes discipline. This morning I set no less than 3 alarms, 2 of which I managed not to be able to turn off so they went off 5 times. I got in all my morning prayers, meditation and THEN went back to bed.

I still managed to make it out of the house earlier than I otherwise would have. I have no idea how that happened but it kind of makes me want to try again tomorrow.

Susan Boyle, I am not.

That having been said, it doesn't stop me from making a joyful noise during mass. I'm singing to my Lord and Savior with the voice that he gave me in gratitude for the things he's done for me. If you don't like it, well pick up the hymnal buddy and start singing. I promise you won't hear me over the off-keyness of you. Really and truly. 

This weekend I got the looks. Men turning around, to see who was singing like that. I like to think they were enraptured by my joyful melodic orations, but truth is I don't care. Mass is the highest form of prayer we have in our arsenal so I don't show up as a spectator!

I remember the time I told the kids that whoever sang the joyfullest (Is that a word? I'm playing it in Scrabble!) for the recessional hymn would get donuts. Oh, you should have seen those looks! (from husband) It turns out Peach couldn't quite read to keep up and Monkey boy didn't care what he sang, so they mostly made up the words as loud as they could. Now THAT was a spectacle! I was laughing so hard I couldn't sing, but I WAS making a joyful noise.

Every time mass ends I kind of have to restrain myself from making a truly joyful spectacle. Remember those Herbal Essence Shampoo commercials where the babe washes her hair and screams out 'Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!'? Well that certainly would make mens' heads turn to see what was happening. 

refrain: Sing it like you mean it and eventually you'll mean it when you sing it! (Repeat refrain)

The kingdom of heaven

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Mt 13:44

Out of joy! What's your treasure? What's mine? Sometimes I think my husband should be a very jealous man because I love no man, I long for no man, I desire no man like I love, long for and desire Jesus. He is a very difficult man to love, Jesus. He is a hard one to satisfy but oh so easy to please. How I love to please him!

He takes pleasure in the little things, like when I pray for an enemy at my expense and sacrifice, when I give up something very special to me to benefit someone else, when I inconvenience my schedule because someone needs my time and attention. Praying for an enemy is easy, "Jesus bless .." but to pray 'Jesus, may they be happier than me, make my friends their friend, even if that means I lose a friend. Would you do that for me Jesus?' 

Does it hurt to pray like that? Yep, because it's a personal investment and involvement, but it's also exhilarating. I guess that what they mean by out of joy they go and buy that field. I've got to be willing to give up something if I want the better part and I'll end up with the infintely better deal because God is the world's most generous and amazing lover! Ever!

Found it!

No not my sanity, my shoe. One was in my gym bag the other was on the porch.  Today I lost my phone, then found it again. Seriously, I'm hopeless. Thank you for the scores of prayers, guardian angels, and saints that keep watch over me. I need it. Really, I'm a mess and I know it!

Dont believe me? Read on! You see I drink coffee, and either I have lost my taste for it or I never really had it... which is probably the case. I drink coffee for the companionship and for the milk content. Living on my own, I see no point in buying milk (or much of anything else I must admit). It's funny but sometimes I get the idea that I really don't know what I like or dislike because I'm a communion type person (Ok, for the record I DO NOT like anchovies. I'm sure! Oh and while I'm on it, I will NOT try escargot. I don't care how much butter you put on snails, not interested. Calamari too. Among other issues, I have a texture issue. Peachy on the other hand loves all that stuff!). 

I drink coffee with Hubby because well, I do and I typically go for the latte so I can get the milk. Why not get just milk? Well, I remember the times I'd get a latte with my friends, and it reminds me of that companionship, but truth be told I don't really like the taste of coffee. I tolerate it. So why spend my money on the stuff? (Remember, I'm a mess???) It would be cheaper for me to buy a gallon of milk instead of the latte. Or I could get what I like, TEA. Novel thought! 

I think they even have tea with milk. Hmm and I have a PhD! That makes it official. I am a degreed mess!

Are you having a challenging day?

How different would the world would be if every day

instead of asking myself 'What do I want?', I would ask the question,

What is being asked of me?

That question profoundly changes my world and maybe just maybe it'll end up changing yours.

Corapi: The self-proclaimed Black Sheepdog's done shed more than just his collar

He's shed his obedience, his humility, his vows and his trousers. Anyone else amused that the initials for his self-proclaimed title is non other than 'BS'?

If you haven't heard, the SOLT's  issued a press release.
Corapi issued a statement to that press release.
Loads of  people have commented
The Deacon's bench
The Anchoress.
Blogger Priest
Mark Shea

What's striking about the entire affair is that the SOLT's would still take him back. Come home. What's amusing about his response is the whole Monica Lewinsky overtones in his statement, 'I never had relations with that woman' because it all comes down to what 'is' is', doesn't it? Then there's the entire aspect of what he didn't say, what accusations he's not contesting. Please. Spare us. Spare the church. Come home. 'nuf said.

Now, should we be shocked that the same troubles that plagued him prior to his BS days have come back up? Not at all. If I look into my life and examine my sins, what strikes me is not the blatant outright bounty of sins I have, but the manner in which Jesus has used those sins to redeem me. It's just like what he did with Peter in my 'Do you love me?' post. He's given me those same opportunities as before only this time I know the risen Christ in a way I didn't know him when I was gorging on my sins. Sometimes I fail. Ok more than sometimes. Sometimes I downright relapse (so it makes my falls all the more painful and humiliating), but the wonder is that he's there to pick me up in my shame, my humiliation, my exasperation and my weakness, and he grants me pardon and peace in the sacrament of reconciliation. I don't deserve it. None of us do, but our God will not be outdone in generosity and I will not be outdone in humiliation, unfortunately. I am a wretched sinner, and I knows it. What else can I say or do?

Pray for but do not follow the BS.

Do you love me?

I was pondering this question the post resurrection Jesus asks of Peter. Peter had denied Jesus 3 times. Sin always damages, even if done in private. It cries out for acceptance for forgiveness and for healing, just as when my daughter damages my favorite blouse. She cries out for forgiveness and I forgive her, but the damage blouse remains. Jesus offered Peter the chance to make up for his previous denials, to get healed in a very real way. So Peter exasperated responds, "Lord, you know that I love you.". 

I think Peter was exasperated not with Jesus, but with himself. Jesus had taught him that in order to truly find yourself, your life, you had to lose it for his sake. It cost Jesus his very life to redeem us. It will cost us nothing less. Peter learned that lesson. We have to be willing to lay it all down, just like Peter did. He knew his thrice profession of love had a healing effect. How do we know? Because this Peter was willing to lay it all down. We see a changed Peter from this point onwards, jail time, beatings, humiliation, this would be the path he would walk.

These moments of grace will find us too. Jesus will give us the opportunity to choose the better part. I pray we allow that to happen because healing, joy and peace will follow in it's wake.

Food for thought...

This from the Hungry Girl: "Now in the "strange but true" category, a Louisiana State University study shows that kids who eat candy are 22 percent less likely to be obese or overweight than kids who don't eat any candy; in adolescents, the number rose to 26 percent."

Well that explains it! Anytime candy is anywhere near Monkeyboy, he DEVOURS it. The boy can't help himself. He really can't. He has NO self control when it comes to candy. I guess that's why he's not overweight.

Oh yeah, this is Texas!

Where even junk gets it's own parade float!

How big is Texas?

So big that they even have floors in between floors..."Floor 2.5 please"

I don't know about millions...

I do know that millions of people can live their existence without acknowledging God. I do it every day and beg for mercy every night for all the times I forget that. I sometimes forget that each person is made in the image and likeness of God and I should treat them with a holy reverence. The atheists at the 4th of July parade, at least they openly acknowledge their ignorance of that fact