Giving until it hurts

My dad once told me when I was oh probably in sixth grade, that I was all 'Moreno'. Now Moreno was his 'greedy' side of the family. For them everything was about money, having it, the things it would buy and getting it no matter the cost. Money was more important than people and the more people you screwed over to get it, the better. Honestly, I never understood how this was me but ok. I think I was displaying an inability to share food, which for those of you who know me, know that you might draw back a nub if your hand gets in the way of my plate. I have a thing for food, always have. I love food, glorious food but I digress. Oh, I have some embarassing stories that are hilarious and I promise to share.
What he said stung me, because it was true? No, because someone who loved me and promised to protect me said something hurtful. Ah love, we hurt those we love the most. He doesn't like that side of the family so my understanding was he didn't like me. Nevertheless, it always makes me think, am I being generous? Do I give? Do I give until it hurts? Or when it hurts do I pull back and take care of me?
We are living in two households at the moment so that means we have double the expenses. I've been saving up for a family trip, tropical, beaches, sunny, beachhouse, swimming pool...you get the picture. Well I could cut back on my charitable giving to help us out. That's the temptation isn't it? Give to God leftovers. He feeds us with the finest he has to offer and we want to return to him only the leftovers, if that. What does that say about us?
My plans for a family vacation, well maybe it won't happen this year. Sometimes God says, 'not right now', and as much as I don't want to hear that yet again, I'm gonna trust Him. It might hurt that I have to sacrifice something I want, but God is nothing but gentle. Even the sacrifice, it's my choice. It's your choice too.