Overheard at mass yesterday

We had a wedding during Sunday's mass. The toddler at one point said to her parents:
"When they gonna kiss?"
"When they gonna kiss?"

At the end of mass after the kiss, the toddler says:
"When's the baby coming?"

Notre Dame loses to Bama a

I can't stand Notre Dame. That being said, I was hoping they'd do better than they did last night against Bama. To say the game was dominated by Bama also discounts the mistakes and missteps by ND, Fourth and 5 so they try to go Fourth and fifty.

My absolute favorite thing though is the following standings:

Hee, hee, hee. Ohio State couldn't play in a bowl game but they still beat out ND.

Hand me down cake

We went to an impromptu party at  the house of one of Monkeyboy's friends. It turned out it we were celebrating someone's birthday. So dear Bea sat in the birthday seat and the lights were extinguished. The only thing ablaze were the lights on her cake. We sang Happy Birthday and after the candles were extinguished someone mentioned it was Art's birthday. The candles re-lighted as they were the unextinguishable ones. Our host unceremoniously kicked Bea out of her birthday seat and invited Art to sit down.

Again we sang happy Birthday and by the time the candles re-lit, Art was kicked out of his seat so that Chris could sit down in the birthday spot. I could barely sing happy birthday as I was doubled over laughing because I have experience with hand me down clothes, but hand me down birthday cakes was new for me.

Some of my proud 2012 moments

#1 Getting my professional doctor type lab coat - its really sweet!

#2 Trying to be social. I am interminable introvert but now I am an official "twit" although I still struggle to be social. @MRTherapyDr in case you're interested

#3 I saw Jeff Dunham perform live. He's hysterical but I have to admit I was shocked at how many parents brought their kids - are you people insane???? Yes. There should NOT have been kids in the audience because while he is funny, the language and sexual themes are way too explicit for kids. I have no problem explaining things to my kids any topic, but protecting their innocence is something that should be important to people. Sadly I think the only people who are interested in children's innocence are pedophiles.

Now this is not my proudest moment but I have let the kids watch part of his shows. I edit them or breeze through scenes I don't think they should see. They then repeat his performances, bleeping themselves as they go. My son actually rolls his tongue when he gets to words the dummies say that they know are not to be repeated.

#4 I have colorful language around the house, especially during football season. While we were visiting a museum, I let something slip that I shouldn't have. The peach tells me (in the crowded entry way), "Mama! 5 push ups! Right there in the corner!"

With the whole museum watching, she outs me! Dang it!

Are you noticing a pattern? My proudest moments tend to follow low moments.

#5 Well this one is no exception. My kids who while serving mass, were blabbing to the other servers during communion. Now this blabbing involved explaining the "First Noel" parody "No L" or "No Well" or "No Whale". I was less than impressed with their behavior so why is it my proudest moment? Well I explained to them (after mass) that their behavior was inappropriate for mass and that they needed to apologize. So they sat down and apologized....to God, which is what I hoped for.

What are some of your proudest 2012 moments?

Newtown tragedy and rejoicing?

This week in Advent was Gaudete Sunday, Latin for rejoice. How are we to rejoice in light of this senseless tragedy? This has been a heart wrenching week filled with funerals.

As Catholics we rejoice this third week in advent because regardless how dark the world is or has become, we have the assurance that the dark will never and can never conquer the light. That is part of our rejoicing in this tough week as Americans.

A full moon in Dallas

Did you see the full moon during the Dallas-Steeler's game on Sunday? In my years of watching football, this was a first.

St Rose of Lima Evacuated

Really?

Some idiot threatened this Church where the shooter, his mother and 8 tiny victims were parishioners. The church was evacuated as someone threatened to shoot those attending the noon mass. As if the pastor didn't already have enough grief of his own as well as the grief of the families and community to contend with someone feels it necessary to do that.

What does one do with this whole Connecticut shooting incident? So many tiny victims makes your heart  just wretch. I heard one comment from the mainstream media that just made me stop in my tracks:

'We need to get to a point in this country where we value life"

Amen brother. Amen.

Hold the cake!

The Peach pit, announced "Bring on the CAKE!" My skinny jeans finally fit!

The Peach pit is a pixie stick and tiny. She should be in size 10-12's but she wears kids 8 skinny jeans and they still fall off her butt. She was so excited when her size 8 slims finally seemed to fit her that she called for a round of cake.

Later on when I told her to pull up her jeans, cause we all need to say no to crack, she says "Hold the cake!"

I must confess

I am quite honest in the sacrament of confession. I need a good soul baring every couple of weeks so a while back I walked into the Cathedral and waited my turn to see my confessor.

There is an absolutely cool thing about confession. Everyone goes. Popes, priests, Supreme Court Justices (Antonin Scalia, John Roberts to name a few), actors (Jim Caviezel ), construction workers and irreverently pious people do it often. This particular day I waited for a construction worker to make his confession. I can't tell you with what joy I approach the sacrament after I saw him come out. Honestly, here was an ordinary guy working construction, hard working man and he's walking out of the confessional holding his hard-hat and going off to work, holier - wow, just awesome.

So I go in, kneel and within 30 seconds the priest knows my state in life-married with kids, vocation, work and when the last time was since my last confession. Very important things to know so he can better know where I'm coming from and where I am spiritually. What followed was absolutely transforming. I was honest, brutally honest as usual with my struggles and how frustrated I have been with my anger, how it almost defines me. If there is one all important thing about confession - it's that you need to be honest. You can't be hiding things and expect awesomeness to follow.

So after my 30 seconds of who I am and another 30 of where I am spiritually, he sighed. He actually sighed! Now as a frequent confessee I can tell you I get this occasionally. This time it wasn't a sigh of exasperation - I get that too. It was a sigh of "Ah, we're actually going to discuss things of substance today!" It's almost as if he had been waiting for me because he needed to have this discussion as much as I did.

And we did! We talked about deep but simple spiritual facts. In fact I don't think he told me anything much different than what he would have told a person with a same-sex attraction - You're feelings don't define you, who you are. We talked about the discernment of spirits. It's a delicate thing this discernment of spirits.

Anger is an emotion, albeit a very strong one and dealing with it leaves me exhausted so I need the grace, seemingly constantly. If I'm not struggling with anger then I'm struggling with listlessness - two polar opposites! No wonder I'm a mess!

My confession, continues

On to my confession story which I didn't finish last time:

I have a regular confessor. I find it's helpful to have someone who knows me and my history so he can help me on my journey toward holiness, but I travel a lot. So I visit cathedrals as often as I can and I will avail myself of the priest in the cathedral penitentiary for a sacramental confession. When you see priests standing in line for confession, it's probably a safe bet that it's a good place for a confession.

I have yet to be disappointed. They say advent is a time for waiting but it's not a passive waiting. I wait in hope for Jesus to come into my life but there is activity in that waiting. Why is it that two people can go through the same few weeks of advent and one ends up forever changed and the other observes a passage of time but essentially is the same as they were before advent?

It's like asking why if I place an egg in water to cook does it come out cooked or why does it come out raw? In both cases the substance is the same, water and egg but the catalyst, the heat to boil the water is either present or it is not. In much the same way if I enter into advent without some activity to draw myself closer to Christ, it won't happen. It's not a passive waiting. It's bustling with activity.

My activity centered around the sacrament of confession. More about that tomorrow.

My confession

I was talking to my priest friend last night about a reporter, Catholic, who was held captive and in his 7 yrs of captivity he finally took his Catholic faith seriously. He made his confession to the priest, also imprisoned and it completely changed his life. It had been over 25 years since his last confession but by the time he was done both he and the priest were in tears and those words of healing when his sins were absolved, changed his life. I commented, "Oh, the lengths God will go to reach his people!", "No, doubt" my priest friend commented.

I recall when I would approach the sacrament of confession with hesitation and a bit of fear, but now that I'm in the habit of regular confessions, I can tell when it's time for confession because I get crankier, angry, grumpy, impatient, and foul mouthed. I blame the foul mouth on football. If my team would just win, I would be way more moderate in my speech! Maybe. All too often we think that we don't need to confess our sins. I run into Catholics all the time who don't see the need or they want to write down their sins and burn them but why tell the priest? Excellent question.

I was reading the Pope's new book, Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narrative. In it our pontiff comments about the healing of the paralytic whose friends lowered him from the roof because they couldn't get him through the door. Jesus tells the sick man, "My son, your sins are forgiven" Mk2:5. Our pontiff however, I love his honesty as he comments, "This was the last thing they were concerned about. The paralytic needed to be able to walk, not to be delivered from his sins." However he goes on to say something extraordinarily succint and important, "Man is a relational being. And if his first, fundamental relationship is disturbed - his relationship with God-then nothing else can be truly in order."

Oh, come Emmanuel and get your butt here before my house goes up in flames!

My travel schedule has been a bit insane. I have to admit I checked out here for a while because the best I could do was to just keep afloat. Somehow we've managed to enter into Advent, the most super ridiculously shortest period to wait. Seriously, society doesn't wait for anything. Christmas sales started before Thanksgiving, but for us, we've pulled out the advent wreath. To be perfectly honest, I totally forgot about it.

Monkeyboy. Yes monkeyboy pulled out the advent wreath on the vigil of advent - so the Saturday before the first Sunday in advent (this past Saturday). He was so excited to get the wreath out and set up the candles. Why? So we could sing after meals? Nope but he puts up with the singing, well to be honest we don't really sing, the priest friend is the only one in our house who has a decent voice, the rest of us are aca-crappy, bari-crooners, sopranoscreechy, you get the idea. Monkeyboy got all excited so that he and sister could fight, push, budge their way towards the candle to blow it out after the 'singing'. Oh come oh come Emanuel - No seroiusly, come on and get here because those two are a fire hazard waiting to happen. My consolation is that they'd be able to spit the fire out if and when they knock the candle to the ground. Goodness knows they spit enough trying to blow out the candle so maybe they'd be able to put it out too. I probably shouldn't worry.

Reconciliation

On my last post I commented about how in America you really can't speak politics without the conversation degenerating into arguments. Oh how close the arrow strikes!

I was in New York last week and one of my colleagues commented that his wife and best friend of over 30 years parted ways... over the presidential election.

Now I will grant that I'm not an Obama fan for many reasons.
- his support of abortion
- government funding of abortion, aborifacients (medicine that causes abortion, including birth control meds)
- his belief that government creates jobs (yes government can create jobs, but private sector creates wealth)
- this notion that all our problems will be fixed if we tax the wealthy (It doesn't work except to create animosity and jealousy between the have nots and the have's)
- a health care reform that includes contraceptive drugs mandated to be covered by institutions that have a religious or moral opposition to it (Contraception drugs are also one class of drugs that doesn't treat an illness. It treats a normally functional organ to act abnormally which violates the purpose of medicine - to heal.) A vasectomy is a form of mutilation but is a covered procedure. A vasectomy reversal on the other hand, restores the organs to their normal functional state and is the healing procedure which is the procedure not covered. Does that make sense to anyone?
- his epic fail to reach across a divide because he's full of pride and if you don't agree with him, he gets angry

That being said, he was elected by the majority of the country, by a small fraction but nevertheless by the country. The failure belongs to the country. If we are to change course, it will be through hearts and minds. It will be one person at a time. Do you know why 40 Days for Life has been so successful? Do you know what it is?

40 Days for Life is an organization of people who peaceably pray, fast and give alms twice a year. Well they do this all year but it's organized twice a year. They target abortion facilities. The key is they do something nonsensical by normal standards. They pray, one person at a time outside of an abortion facility. The prayer "warriors" many times don't even know each other but they show up for 40 days to quietly pray and be a presence for the unborn child. They are changing hearts and minds with this nonsensical power of prayer. They are doing this and changing hearts, one heart at a time and not through political muscle.

So for my friends out there disappointed with the presidential election, I say this:
Reconcile with your brothers and sisters, your friends and neighbors. We will get through this because this too shall pass and let this be a reminder not to put your faith in things that pass. Have faith, trust and hope in God. He is good. All the time.

My daily med: You dirty rotten scoundrel

I write about anger quite a bit because I suppose that's what I struggle with the most. I have plenty of other things to work on but anger is a recurring theme in my posts so I was particularly struck by today's reading from Lk 17:11-19, about the ten lepers. It says:
They stood some way off and called to him, "Jeusus! Master! Take pity on us" When he saw them he said, "Go and show your selves to the priests".

As they were going away one of them noticed he was cleansed so he returned, praising God and Jesus comments:
"Were not all ten made clean? The other nine, where are they? It seems none has come back to give praise to God but this foreigner."

First thing is if you don't know, the foreigner was a samaritan, the enemy of the Jews. They avoided each other typically. Imagine one was a republican and the other a democrat. The one thing you don't ever want to discuss with an American is politics. If you are from the other party, forget it, there is no discussion. The talk will denegrate to heated arguments if you are of the opposite thinking. There is no persuasion. There is no understanding. There is bigotry. There is hatred. There are preconceived notions of the other. The one side screams of tolerance, yet they are intolerant of those who disagree with them resorting ultimately to prejudice. The other side is no better, presuming the heart and mind of the other, discounting their beliefs and resorting also to prejudice. Yet, when they are threatened, when they are both equally affected, they come together to seek help.They rebuild for example, just like they are doing in New York city.

The other thing about the lepers is that they were required to announce their presence to give others the opportunity to flee ahead of them because their disease was seen as contagious and no one wanted it. This is why they stand far off from Jesus. Even today leprosy is incurable. It can be controlled now with hygiene but there is no cure. Jesus frees them but only the foreigner returns to praise God. Was Jesus angry that only one returned? If he was, his anger turned towards disappointment.

In those who can't control their anger, it's usually the other way around. See how when God is not the center of your universe, you get all turned around? Those who can't seem to manage their anger will find that their disappointment turns to anger. Jesus on the other hand can't resist a cry for pity. The soul in need is an obligation on his part to help. He doesn't need to be convinced. His heart is moved by people's need. Love can't hold back when it sees people in need.

The leper's cry for help is in stark contrast to the Pharisees who stubbornly refuse to call Jesus master. Who refuse his help because they were strong, healthy, talented and self-sufficient. The lepers had no other alternative but to acknowledge their utter helplessness. As a result they received the transforming grace of God. The Pharisees in fact, don't even see their error and on the contrary, consider themselves in communion with God. This alone should make us stop and consider our own relationship with the Lord.

I wonder at it all with simple gratitude.

In your will is my peace

Your will. Not mine. My will makes me angry when things don't turn out the way I want them.
I tried to go to mass this morning. I'm traveling, out of the country again and found a beautiful cathedral with 7am mass. After finding the place and parking I made my way to the chapel. The doors were locked.
I walked around the cathedral thinking perhaps I had the wrong door. After I walked around the entire blocks surrounding the cathedral (it was a large cathedral) I ended up back where I started and knocked on the parish office doors. Apparently the doors I tried were the right ones and he told me to try again but by this point it was 7:15 and mass was well underway.

I tried again, locked again and I just walked away. I was pretty hot when I left. Here I am trying my best to make it to mass. Why? Honestly, because I need Jesus every day and when I don't have an opportunity to see him, to have him: body, blood, soul and divinity into my person then it's just a pitiful day. He orients me in the right direction every single time. So I was more than disappointed that I had to walk away without the eucharist.

Then I thought, "in your will is my peace". Sometimes things don't turn out the way we plan or the way we would like. The morning prayer was from Job:

"Naked I came forth from my mother's womb,
and naked I shall go back again.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
blessed be the name of the Lord!
We accept good things from God;
and should we not accept evil?"

That is today's prayer. You can't make this up folks! Today when the election results showed that the headlines are that Abortion, Gay Marriage and Marijuana won in the election,  (I'm out of the country and this is what made the headlines! And people here are rejoicing.) this was the morning prayer. I smiled. Our God is good. All the time.

Yes, we do accept good things from God and we should also accept the evil things. We don't have to like them and we don't have to approve them but we do accept them as much as He permits them.

One thing to bear in mind is that while Job accepted the evil, he never, ever, ever gave up. In the end he was vindicated. Perhaps we too need to be reminded to never give up when faced with evils.