I must confess

I am quite honest in the sacrament of confession. I need a good soul baring every couple of weeks so a while back I walked into the Cathedral and waited my turn to see my confessor.

There is an absolutely cool thing about confession. Everyone goes. Popes, priests, Supreme Court Justices (Antonin Scalia, John Roberts to name a few), actors (Jim Caviezel ), construction workers and irreverently pious people do it often. This particular day I waited for a construction worker to make his confession. I can't tell you with what joy I approach the sacrament after I saw him come out. Honestly, here was an ordinary guy working construction, hard working man and he's walking out of the confessional holding his hard-hat and going off to work, holier - wow, just awesome.

So I go in, kneel and within 30 seconds the priest knows my state in life-married with kids, vocation, work and when the last time was since my last confession. Very important things to know so he can better know where I'm coming from and where I am spiritually. What followed was absolutely transforming. I was honest, brutally honest as usual with my struggles and how frustrated I have been with my anger, how it almost defines me. If there is one all important thing about confession - it's that you need to be honest. You can't be hiding things and expect awesomeness to follow.

So after my 30 seconds of who I am and another 30 of where I am spiritually, he sighed. He actually sighed! Now as a frequent confessee I can tell you I get this occasionally. This time it wasn't a sigh of exasperation - I get that too. It was a sigh of "Ah, we're actually going to discuss things of substance today!" It's almost as if he had been waiting for me because he needed to have this discussion as much as I did.

And we did! We talked about deep but simple spiritual facts. In fact I don't think he told me anything much different than what he would have told a person with a same-sex attraction - You're feelings don't define you, who you are. We talked about the discernment of spirits. It's a delicate thing this discernment of spirits.

Anger is an emotion, albeit a very strong one and dealing with it leaves me exhausted so I need the grace, seemingly constantly. If I'm not struggling with anger then I'm struggling with listlessness - two polar opposites! No wonder I'm a mess!