My daily Med: Sirach

My child from your youth choose discipline, and when you have grey hair you will find wisdom. As though plowing and sowing draw close to her; then wait for her bountiful crops. For in cultivating her you will work but little, and soon you will eat her fruit. She is rough ground to the fool! The stupid cannot abide her. She will be like a burdensome stone to them, and they will not delay in casting her aside. For discipline is like her name, she is not accessible to many….With all your soul draw close to her; and with all your strength keep her ways. Inquire and search, seek and find: when you get hold of her, do not let her go. Sir 6:18-22,26-27

Well that explains a lot! When God writes a love letter, he's brutally honest. I like that. It's not like I didn't know I am a stupid fool burdened by stones but thanks just the same. The whole plowing and sowing... it's hard work. I don't like gardening. We have a house. Why? Husband wanted one. I wanted a small box to live out of but we needed a yard because we had the dog and apparently the kids needed space. How many of our decisions in life are shaped by what others need? Yes, even the dog rated higher than what I wanted and now the useless lump is dead (miss you Brina. I really do. That dog was the best part about any of our dwelling places.). That shows you where I rate, below the dead dog. So now we have a yard and weeds. Do I want to get out there and work in the yard... uh hell no! I did enough of that growing up and I'm done. My brother, that was his life and livelihood. He loved that sort of thing, but I just don't. Know your limitations. I know mine.

Our Lord knows them too; so in his brutality he closes off his love letter with something reminiscent of Tobit Chapter 13 (perhaps), "Draw close to him and he will draw close to you and no longer hide his face from you" and verse 27 reminds me of Matthew 7:7 ask and it will be given you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you and also of the Song of Solomon (You know, the racy book in the Bible) when I found him who my soul loves. I held him and would not let him go 3:4). It was this last one that really got my attention. I hate disciplining myself as much as I hate gardening. I don't like fasting (disciplining my senses), modesty (disciplining my language), sacrifice (disciplining myself) but how can I draw close, how can I ask, how can I seek, how can I knock, how can I find him if I don't get off my duff and weed the garden of my soul? I'll do it. I'm not going to like it, but I'll do it. All I have to say is you better help me 'cause my garden is reminiscent of the Weasley borough. It's a mess!