A Christian fraud

It seems I have many similarities with my atheist brothers and sisters.

Atheists take by faith the nonexistence of God much as I as a Christian take by faith the existence of God.
An atheist throughout life is beset by silent yearnings to believe in God much as I am tempted to disbelieve in God, to doubt His existence.

When that dis-belief occurs, it is real, tangible and frighteningly obvious. It is precisely then that I cling to faith with every ounce of energy I have even while I know, believe and tell myself, 'You my dear, are a genuine fraud.'
I can't imagine what years of that type of temptation is like. Blessed Mother Teresa did and by all accounts it was dreadfully awful. I can barely manage the terror of the temptations (as a matter of fact I can't) but that is exactly what it is: sheer utter incomprehensible terror.
Does that make me a Christian fraud? Perhaps or perhaps it makes me a genuine Christian.